


My Always

by unending_happiness



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: But until then, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble, Im a huge sap, Immortality, Love, M/M, Magnus has a way with words, Mortality, alec will be immortal, and i wont hear otherwise, hes overthinking things, lots and lots of love here, of course he is, prompts, sweet boyfriends, sweet words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 08:43:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12837525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unending_happiness/pseuds/unending_happiness
Summary: Magnus and Alec are enjoying a lazy day together at the loft. Alec brings up a sensitive subject, not being able to keep himself from wondering.....Magnus answers beautifully.





	My Always

**Author's Note:**

> So this was from a prompt list that my darling friend @ladymatt made just for me. I got an anon ask with the following prompt:
> 
> “And THAT is how I know we are soulmates, endgame, forever!”
> 
> This isn't how I thought it would go, but my brain took over.
> 
> I don't think this has been beta'd, but I've kind of lost track of what Michelle has beta'd and what she hasn't, so please correct me if I'm wrong, M. As always, thank you for your supp

They were sprawled out on the bed, with Alec laying sideways with his feet hanging off the edge. He splayed his hand across Magnus’ side and nuzzled his face against his bare chest until his right ear was directly over his heart. He closed his eyes and listened to the strong steady beats and focused on the rise and fall of their chests. 

It had been one of those rare days that they were both off work, and they decided to turn off their phones, lock the doors, and spend the day inside. It had been a glorious day. Alec knew that soon they would have to get up and eat dinner, so he was soaking up every single moment of rare peace with his love.

Magnus rubbed his hand through Alec’s dark hair and massaged his scalp with magical fingers. He hummed in approval, this being one of his very favorite ways to be touched. They went on like that for awhile, with Alec counting heartbeats while fingers twined softly through his hair. Magnus often put him to sleep this way after a long day, but he wasn’t tired, so naturally he was doing the other thing he always did when his body was still. Thinking. Mostly about how he never thought he would have anything even remotely like this, and how he wished that they could stay exactly like this for forever. Forever. That was a delicate subject in their relationship. Just the thought of it made his heart hurt, but not for himself. For Magnus. It was Magnus who would likely have to grieve him one day.

He tried to stop his thoughts in their tracks. He didn’t want to ruin the moment with sadness and fear, but they just kept coming. So, he finally surrendered when it was apparent he wasn’t going to be able to push them aside this time, but he told himself he wasn’t going to voice his thoughts. He would work through it in his head, feel it, and move on. There was nothing that could be done about it anyway, and no sense in wasting precious time with worry.

“What is it?” A soft voice whispered above his head. His boyfriend’s hand wrapped around his own and he squeezed gently. That’s when Alec realized that he had been flexing his fingers in the way he always did when his mind was causing him to be anxious. His soldier’s body automatically itching for something to do to take his mind off the torment.

He considered faking confusion for a moment, but he had promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn’t keep things from Magnus. Whatever life threw at them, they tackled it together. Always.

“Do you ever think of it?” he asked, ever so quietly, as if he could hold on to the blissful moment with the sheer softness of his voice. He knew he didn’t have to elaborate. There was only one thing that ghosted unspoken between them. They had discussed before, but it had been years since either had brought it up. The truth was, they knew that their lives were dangerous and that they couldn’t predict the future. They understood that immortal didn’t mean invincible, and there had been many close calls in battle to drive that point home.

Magnus moved his hand from his hair and wrapped his arm around Alec, pulling him tightly against him. He gently kissed the top of his head, and Alec wondered if maybe he hadn’t heard the question after all.

Then Magnus answered him, “I think of it. I think of how lucky I am to have someone who loves me as you do. Of how in all my years of life I’ve never met anyone like you, and how I know without a doubt that I could live thousands more and never meet someone like you again. And I know that I would gladly have it this way rather than never have loved you at all.”

Alec sat up and looked at him, needing to see his face and look into his eyes. Magnus’ gaze was steady and sure. His words true and full of emotion.

Magnus smiled softly and reached up to cup his face, then continued, “I’m not scared. I know that no matter how many years I might have to live with only memories, that it is worth it. I know you worry about me, but you shouldn’t. I’m glad it’s me that has to carry this instead of you, and THAT is how I know we are soulmates, endgame, forever!”

Alec swallowed past the lump in his throat, as his eyes brimmed with tears. “Your forever and my forever aren’t the same amount of time,” he said.

“Nobody’s are, Alexander. Whether it be one second or one millennium, you are my forever, and loving you is a great honor that I will never let go of. I don’t know what the future holds, but you asked me if I think of it. And when I think of it I believe that you are my always, and I won’t let the fear of grief and loneliness tarnish that. It’s too precious to mar with worry.”

Alec blinked, tears falling down his face. He was overwhelmed with love and in utter awe of the man who was currently wiping a tear from his cheek. “I love you, Magnus. I need you to know that you are worthy of love, whether I’m here to give it to you or not.”

Magnus leaned in and rested their foreheads together. “I know. Because of you, I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @blj2007.
> 
> I'm a huge believer that Alec will become immortal, so I'm even surprised at myself for the direction this prompt went. Damn writer brain. Anyway, it's relevant, because they will worry with this subject until Alec gets immortality somehow.


End file.
